JokesWedding season jokes for family groups
Clean jokes about late baraats, buffet plans, photo queues and relatives who last saw you "this small". Safe for the family group in shaadi season.
The wedding card says 7 pm.
The groom's procession says 10.30.At a wedding I know four people.
By the end, twelve aunties know my marks, my job and my height.The photographer has one instruction: "A little closer."
We now stand closer in photos than in real life.The gift envelope has a name on the front
and a silent calculation on the back.Buffet plan: start with what runs out first.
The salad will still be there tomorrow.Every wedding has one uncle who dances as if nobody is watching.
Everybody is watching. Three people are recording.The DJ plays the same ten songs at every wedding.
We dance as if we are hearing them for the first time."Have you eaten?"
At a wedding I am asked this more often than my name.I wore new shoes to the wedding.
For the first hour I walked like a guest.
After that, like a man crossing hot sand.The queue for a photo with the couple is the slowest queue in the country.
Relative: "I last saw you when you were this small."
Hand at knee height.
Every relative, the same height.The ice-cream counter at a wedding has no queue.
It has a crowd with one shared goal.
Who this set suits
Family groups in wedding season, the cousins' planning group, friends of the bride or groom and every guest who has stood in the photo queue. The jokes are about the things all weddings share: late processions, buffet plans, the dancing uncle whom everybody loves.
How to tell them
Send them in the days around a wedding, when the whole group is living the same scenes. The buffet joke is for the afternoon before the reception; the new shoes joke for the morning after. Aloud, at a sangeet or a family dinner, pick two, tell them warmly, and stop. A wedding crowd wants to laugh with you.
When to hold back
Never joke about the cost, the gifts received, the couple's looks or how a particular wedding was managed; the hosts have worked for months. Keep these out of the group on the wedding day itself if the family is tense. And the "dancing uncle" must stay nameless.
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