JokesTravel and holiday jokes for trip groups
Clean jokes about packing, window seats, late trains, hotel switches and family trips. Good for the trip group, before, during and after the journey.
Packing for a three-day trip.
Day one: "I will pack light."
Day of travel: two bags, and a third "just in case".I fought for the window seat on the bus, and won it.
Then I slept through the whole view.Hill station photo: "Peace at last."
Outside the frame: two hundred people taking the same photo.The train is late by ten minutes.
This is announced every ten minutes, for two hours.The hotel room has six switches.
Five do nothing.
The sixth switches off everything, including the fan I wanted.On every family trip, one person holds all the tickets.
That is the person we cannot find at the gate."We leave at 5 am sharp."
At 5 am one person is awake, and it is not the one who said it.Tea at a railway station tastes better than tea anywhere else.
The secret ingredient is hurry.I travel to relax.
Then I come home and need a holiday to recover from the holiday.The souvenir shop sells the same keychain in every city.
Only the name on it travels.The map says twenty minutes.
The road says, "We will see."At the hotel breakfast I eat like a person who has paid for it.
Because I have.
Who this set suits
Trip groups, college friends planning a holiday, families before the summer vacation and anybody stuck on a platform right now. Everyone who has packed a "just in case" bag will find themselves here.
How to tell them
A trip has three good moments for a joke. Before: the packing joke and the "5 am sharp" joke, on the night before you leave. During: the late train and the window seat, while you wait. After: "I need a holiday to recover from the holiday", on the first working day back. Match the joke to the moment and it will feel as if you wrote it for the group.
When to hold back
Hold back if a member is travelling for a sad or urgent reason, or if a journey has really gone wrong: a missed train, lost luggage, a cancelled trip. Laugh about delays later, once everybody is home safe. And do not tease the one person in the group who could not come.
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